STL Social Media Guy

Dealing with people who post bad stuff on the STLtoday.com forums is always an interesting trick. I’m always amazed at a couple of things.

First, when they’re caught and banned, they always point to all the other people who misbehave. My transgression wasn’t as bad as his, they say. Why was I banned, but he wasn’t? They fail to realize their behavior isn’t excused just because someone else wasn’t caught.

Second, they forget that there’s hundreds of people posting comments and only a few people watching. If they expect us to catch everything, we won’t. That could be solved by pre-publication moderation — but that’s not realistic in our case.

You can see an example of both in the e-mail exchange below.

Here’s a few things I try to remember when monitoring forums and dealing with bad behavior:

• Be ruthless. If it rubs you wrong, deal with it. Get rid of it. You might not be perceived as fair, because you’ll miss some. But if people see you on top of the problems, that might help keep things on a higher plane.
• Admit that you’re going to miss some. Tell people you depend on them to point out the bad stuff, too. That’s what the “report abuse” button is for.
• Don’t let people get away with the argument that others have behaved worse. They were the one that got caught. Focus on that.
• Don’t let anyone get away with the suggestion that one person’s action sets a precedent for another. This isn’t the Supreme Court. We don’t keep books of precedent and case law. Deal with everything case-by-case, based on each case’s circumstances.

Here’s my latest e-mail exchange with someone who got banned — and, ultimately, unbanned. Hopefully, he’ll try harder.

HIM:

Dear Sir or Madam, I attempted to post a reply to a post this morning to find out that I had been banned for violating the terms of the forum policy. My user name is XXXXXX and I didn’t have any idea that I had posted anything offensive, and I did not receive any notice of my banning or the basis for it. Could you please let me know what I am accused of so that I may respond or, at least, be made aware of the basis for my banning? I haven’t posted anything since before the holiday weekend, as far as I know, so it was a bit of a shock to receive the banned message. I will continue to look for the offending post on my own, but I would appreciate a prompt response to my query.

ME:

I banned you for this comment, which has since been deleted:

“What part is confusing you, queer? Haze of mediocrity and ignorance? Please, save your condescension for some of the young twinks you troll around for at the junior high school.”

Personal attacks and this sort of language is not allowed under our guidelines.

Are there other cases of this sort of thing that we have missed? I’m sure there are. When we catch them, they’ll get dealt with as well.

HIM:

Seriously?! This comment is extremely old and was a response to a similarly offensive attack made towards me. Fine, I apologize for this comment, but how do you consider this more offensive than the majority of the tripe that is posted on the forum on a regular basis? I’m a regular contributor and I make every attempt to keep my discourse civil. Is the word queer inaccurate? The poster I was responding to happened to be gay. Was I not insulted by the phrase haze of mediocrity and ignorance? Do I need to report every poster that has insulted me? Do I need such thin skin on an anonymous internet forum? BTW, why are you digging this up months later?

ME:

Really? That’s really where you’re going to go?

It amazes me that people who are banned always go to the same place: “But other people do it, too!”

Would you say that to a cop who caught you for speeding? Of course not!

HIM:

I’m not justifying any bad behavior by pointing to other bad behavior. I just want to know how this particular post is any more offensive than most others. BTW, if a cop pulled me over, I would be entitled to due process under the law, not your arbitrary decisions. So, are you going to reinstate my account or am I going to have to create a new one and then report every marginally offensive comment every time I read it? I understand the mods have to maintain a modicum of decorum on the various forums, but this is pretty flimsy.

ME:

I can’t believe you’re being this hostile to me. I really can’t. A simple apology and this would have been behind us.

Let me make this perfectly clear: I will happily take care of abuses that other readers report to me. That’s what the report abuse button is there. I’m sorry that this happens to be old or, in your case, flimsy. I’m sorry that there are other more aggregious examples that I might miss. I told you at the outset that I knew there were! But there’s a lot of you and not very many of me, so you must realize that things are going to get by me.

Can we dial it down a little bit and come to an understanding?

HIM:

I agree. Sorry to come off so hostile, I was just really surprised this morning when I tried to post a reply. I did apologize in my first response to your email, but I will do so again. I apologize for the remarks I made in that thread, I should not have allowed myself to be baited into such a libelous response. I am willing to submit to a period of banning from the forums and I will strive to refrain from posting any future remarks that others may find offensive. Until such period is served, I will merely watch from the sidelines and not insult the mods by creating a new account.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.